Nick Roach facing the camera with a lake behind
Nick Roach facing the camera with a lake behind
Nick Roach - Awake in the Dream
Nick Roach - Awake in the Dream

Being Alone

Fear of being alone - Question:

Hi Nick,

 

I have a problem which may sound really silly. I have had what you call an insight into how things are here, and I don't think I like it. The insight is, that this is all me, my own creation, that I am the only one here and am all alone. You talk about it on your site in several places, but I just feel afraid. How can I deal with this?

 

By the way, I must thank you for being here. It is great to know, real or not, that you are here for people like me to approach and ask these questions. Thank you so much.

 

Matthew

Hi Matthew

 

Thank you for your question.

 

The biggest issue with all this so called 'Non-Duality' business is the knowledge that, for this to be the case, then this is all me; that I am indeed creating all my family and friends, even my own body and everything I see and experience through it, each and every moment.

 

The fear you feel will pass, as you practice being aware of where you are and of what you are feeling, as this way you become more the stillness and presence behind the emotion, rather than focusing on the feelings themselves which are fighting to survive by sucking you in.

 

I would like you to consider something though. I would like you to consider the alternative idea, which is the accepted normal situation but one rarely looked at in any depth by most of us. Sure, the fear can arise as one sees that this is your own dream and as such you are all alone here, but were this not to be the case, can you see that you are already alone? You are alone in your body, separate from all the billions of other bodies, all bumping into each other and fighting for what they feel they need for their own comfort or well being. These separate little bodies affect each other in different ways before dying, leaving a few other bodies a little sad for a while until they too move on to other things, or their own demise.

 

So, you now have the two possibilities. Either, one is in a separate body, competing with others until dying, alone; or you realise your own intelligence or consciousness is creating your body and all the others; in which case you are still alone, but now you are not separate since you are creating all of them. Sure, you are still alone, but you are no longer lonely, as you are complete. In fact there is nothing to be separate from, since you are creating everything. You cannot die in the usual way, as you know there is no death; the dream simply ends. You cannot lose anyone or anything, as everything that is, is within you already. You do not need to struggle or strive, to search for the answers or to prove yourself. You do not need to do anything, unless it suits you to do so, since you know everything is created by you for you to enjoy. Even if the enjoyment involves some element of pain sometimes, that too is part of the miracle you have created here, of having a separate body with which you can interact with all others as if they were separate.

 

So, don't worry about the fear of being alone, as this will pass. Just practice being aware of where you are and of what you are feeling, and enjoy the peace this brings behind the thinking mind with its problems and worries. There is an old saying, 'There is nothing to fear but fear itself'. There is much truth in this when it comes to seeing the nature of reality here. You have nothing to fear as nothing can hurt you, when it comes to seeing the truth. The fear is simply the emotion that is enjoying being separate beginning to see it isn't.  

  

Keep going Matthew. All's well.

 

Nick Roach

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The end of all experiences is simply to be...

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