Sometimes a person is likely to have insights into the truth here. The following page is an email Nick received from a person a few days after a meeting with Nick, and Nick's reply:
Thank you for sharing so many of your insights last Thursday they were very illuminating. I have carried on the meditations since then and today have had an experience whilst meditating that has very much changed me.
I was meditating to focus on just being fully present in the now and fully conscious of myself. I had been meditating for about half an hour and for some time been quite still and enclosed in a beautiful peace when I started to see colours, they started with purple and then changed quite regularly moving through the spectrum. Again after some while that stopped and all sense of the outside world disappeared, all that existed was my awareness, no body, no time, no space, no thought, only awareness in deep darkness. I was overcome with loneliness and dread “ I was alone,,,, nothing else existed,,,,,I felt utterly alone” this absolutely consumed me I wanted to weep but I had nothing to weep with, I wanted to cry out but could not. Then I felt our kitten lick my hand and I was suddenly aware of love, all I could feel was love and out from me came a stream of light that seemed to form into a plane of light an unlimited amount of consciousness. I was aware that this flowed out from me, but was not me I was watching it, aware of it and it filled me with an immense love and joy. I was aware that within this consciousness was a host if interconnected beings all moving and living. I was not alone, I would never be alone again and I looked in joy and delight at outpouring from my being.
Now I have stopped this meditation I still can feel an incredible peace, joy and a depth to my being that still has this awareness, back inside me, of being the source of everything that is. It is as if I am experiencing life on more than one level of existence at the same time.
At this point I feel so privileged to have seen this. So many questions that I had wanted answers to seem so irrelevant now.
And I would immensely value your guidance in understanding this and taking it forward. At the moment I am just letting the feeling of it soak into me.
Thank you for your email. Wonderful stuff!
You have been 'given' a profound experience into the truth of things here. I come across people who tell me they are Enlightened, some of whom are already teaching others this, and yet they have not seen what you have seen. Well done.
The experience is likely to seem to fade. Your mind may tell you it is lost, that you have gone backwards and that you need to try to get it back. Don't. The experience is so stunning because it is new. As it 'fades', it leaves an imprint in your psyche. Soon it is a knowledge which is accessible to you at any moment that you are reminded to look, rather than an insight or experience you once had. The rest of your life, if I may say so, is about becoming the truth you have seen. This is done through no particular effort or practice, besides watching what is, as much as you can.
There is no need to try to get anywhere now. No need to rush or force things. Simply watch. As you do this, the watcher and the watched do become more 'at one', but it may seem to creep up on you, giving you the feeling of not making any more progress for a while; but you will be. After an experience of such magnitude there is often a 'cooling off' period, where the psyche comes to terms with what has been seen. After this, life gives situations and even problems to be dealt with, as before, and with each one you continue to go deeper into simply being what you are behind the 'external' circumstances.
And now that you have seen what you are, there is nothing left to work out. This is not Enlightenment yet. There is likely to be much living to be done before all the insights, knowledge and experiences come together in one 'absence' of anything specific, but simply 'being This' as a constant and un-interrupted state. But you have seen the truth.
The fear may also return at times. The fear of being alone is also a profound one, and one of the relevant questions I address on the page Fear of being Alone. Just keep going and stay with it. Let me know how it goes. You are ok, as you know.
All is well.
Nick Roach Teachings